The Greatest Story on Turf 2026 Halloween Week

14. Eagles vs. Commanders

Ghost Ship

These ships are going down; there's no doubt about that. To make matters worse, there are ghosts on their rosters. Superstars who were supposed to make an impact are just gone, but you can still feel them even in their absence. Who will survive this crisis, and who will succumb to their ghost and go down with the ship?

Prediction Commanders

13. Patriots vs. Dolphins

Jaws

Last year the Patriots beat the Dolphins for the first time in three years, and they didn’t just beat them; they swept them. The Dolphins seemed like they could take the Patriots to the deep and drown them for the last few years, but now they look like chum. The Dolphins are on the docs celebrating their first win, and here comes a pissed-off New England Great White Shark. The Dolphins might get devoured on Sunday.

Predictions Patriots

12. Colts vs. Jaguars

Zombieland

The Jaguars are kings of the downbad AFC South. The Colts thought they would be kings this year, but their hopes and dreams have come crashing down, and now they are having a fire sale on their best players. They have already traded away DeForest Buckner (49ers) and Quinton Nelson (Colts), and they are looking to trade Johnathan Taylor too. The Colts are dead in the water. Bodies forced to move forward even after death. But an aimless zombie can still do a lot of damage. If the Jaguars want to stay alive in their race for the Lombardi Trophy, they need to avoid letting these division-rival zombies devour their season. Misery loves company.

Prediction Jaguars

11. Cardinals vs. Cowboys

Child’s Play

The Cowboys have been downright pathetic this year. Even their wins look bad. They are fully healthy and locked in, yet they are right in the middle of a division decimated by injury. Then you have the red-haired Cardinals. From the outside, the Cardinals look harmless, but inside them resides the collective heart of a killer, and they are just looking for a body so they can become a real contender again. The Cowboys are not safe.

Prediction Cardinals

10. Bengals vs. Titans

Coraline

On both sides, we have number one overall pick QBs trying to lead their teams to a Super Bowl. One whispers, remember the good old days when we were so close to a Super Bowl. Just a play away from winning it all. Another whispers to come with them. The younger, number-one-pick team of the future. Younger, less injury-prone, not bogged down by the past, and unlimited ceiling. But something isn’t right about one of these number-one picks. We know one of them has dealt with injury, and even though they did the best they could, they just couldn’t overcome defensive struggles. But the other number-one pick has looked flat-out bad at times. Sometimes that other QB's decision-making has been downright dangerous and ended disastrously. Also, one number-one pick has already made their coach mysteriously disappear. Is it possible that one of these picks isn't simply limited by situation and is, in fact, a bust masquerading as an elite?

Prediction Bengals

9. Jets vs. Raiders

Hellraiser

The Jets and the Raiders have been tortured for years. They are some of the Hellraisers' favorite targets. This year, they were tortured with hope. The Raiders started the year undefeated; they were finally riding high. But ever since they lost to the Chiefs, it’s like they have been cursed. They have lost 4 straight games and now have a losing record. All their hope was dragged away from them. The Jets played competitively and even won some games early, but they are slowly realizing they are living out the same Jets season they lived out the past few years, with new actors and a different order of events. At the end of the day, they are 2-5, and their coach is on the chopping block again. What do they do, blow it up again? Tank again? Can one of these teams leave the other with the prism and escape the Hellraisers' torture?

Prediction Raiders

8. Bucs vs. Falcons

Sinners

They are both red and play in the same division, but they aren’t the same. The Falcons just defeated the undefeated 49ers and are on the upswing; they've finally built something for themselves. They are 3-4, not far from first place in the division. But in the dark of night, here come the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Starting 0-4 and losing their star QB, they are supposed to be dead. Yet here they are knocking on the door of the NFC South race, asking to be let in. Will the Falcons let them in?

Prediction Bucs

7. Steelers vs. Browns

Friday the 13th

The Browns have taken over the North, but they still have to deal with its resident monster, the Steelers. It doesn’t matter how many they send to the firing squad or whether their QBs fall off a cliff; they always get back. The Steelers are doomed to roam the AFC North trying to find a playoff and slaughtering anyone in their way. You can’t kill them; they don’t die. They never die; they just come back and win. Mike Tomlin is gone, and their QB is the oldest in the NFL, yet they're challenging for the AFC North crown. Will the Browns be able to outrun the Steelers, or will the Steelers chop them down again?

Prediction Steelers

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